‘I talk to Mike’
We’re on vacation this week, visiting friends and family. Our last stop was Matt and Shannon’s new house in Rhode Island. Shannon was Mike’s favorite cousin, and Mike and Matt took to each other as soon as they met. Matt often drove Mike to chemo at Duke, more than an hour from where he lived in Fayetteville, NC, and the two of them loved t play around on computers and other “guy things.” One of my favorite photos is of Mike holding little LIam just after he was born, with Matt standing proudly nearby. Shannon calls it, “My Three Men.”
Matt asked me if I still talk to Mike, and I said I do sometimes.
“I talk to Mike a lot,” he said, “especially when I’m in the kitchen and I do something stupd. I know he sees me and laughs at me then.”
Mike is still with us in a lot of ways. You can still make Cassie laugh by barking at her the way Mike did when she was acting shy.
Sometimes I can still hear his laugh when something happens that I know would amuse him.
I go through my life, day by day, sometimes moment by moment, missing him. Some moments it’s closer to the surface than others. I told Robbo tonight that there’s before that moment when he died and after that moment, and I’d give my life to go back before that moment to tell him I love him just one more time, to hear his laugh, to hear him belch and wait for me to say, “Bless you.”
I talk to him too, mostly to tell him I love him and I miss him and I will never, ever get over losing him.
Patient Pals & Family Friends
Life o' Mike has a new peer support program for people newly diagnosed with chronic or serious illness or with a new disability and their caregivers.
Patient Pals are people who have experience with various illnesses and disabilities, who can help someone newly diagnosed or with a new disability work through the fear, frustration, confusion and grief often experienced in the first few months.
Family Friends are there to help caregivers and other family members grow into their new role.
People with new illness or disability fare better when they have a role model -- someone who can help them negotiate their new path in life.
We need volunteers, who are asked to donate a minimum of one hour a week. Training is free and includes information on active listening, ways to help and when to know more help is needed.
And of course, we need funding.
To learn more, call Leslie Boyd at 828-243-6712 or e-mail lifeomike@gmail.com.
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