‘I talk to Mike’
We’re on vacation this week, visiting friends and family. Our last stop was Matt and Shannon’s new house in Rhode Island. Shannon was Mike’s favorite cousin, and Mike and Matt took to each other as soon as they met. Matt often drove Mike to chemo at Duke, more than an hour from where he lived in Fayetteville, NC, and the two of them loved t play around on computers and other “guy things.” One of my favorite photos is of Mike holding little LIam just after he was born, with Matt standing proudly nearby. Shannon calls it, “My Three Men.”
Matt asked me if I still talk to Mike, and I said I do sometimes.
“I talk to Mike a lot,” he said, “especially when I’m in the kitchen and I do something stupd. I know he sees me and laughs at me then.”
Mike is still with us in a lot of ways. You can still make Cassie laugh by barking at her the way Mike did when she was acting shy.
Sometimes I can still hear his laugh when something happens that I know would amuse him.
I go through my life, day by day, sometimes moment by moment, missing him. Some moments it’s closer to the surface than others. I told Robbo tonight that there’s before that moment when he died and after that moment, and I’d give my life to go back before that moment to tell him I love him just one more time, to hear his laugh, to hear him belch and wait for me to say, “Bless you.”
I talk to him too, mostly to tell him I love him and I miss him and I will never, ever get over losing him.
Patient Pals & Family Friends
Life o' Mike has a peer support program for people with one or more serious or chronic medical issues or disabilities.
We aim to reduce isolation and fear among people who have conditions, including psychiatric illness, HIV/AIDS, diabetes, mild dementia or other cognitive disorder or disability, thereby reducing depression and complications as people learn to improve self-management of their medical conditions.
Patient Pals help alleviate feelings of isolation and frustration. They can help people develop a list of questions to ask the doctor and then accompany the person to the doctor to make sure all the questions are answered, taking notes to be sure the person understands the doctor’s answers.
Our trained volunteers also accompany their “Pals” to art exhibits, movies and walks outdoors, meet for coffee, call to check in and more.
Our Pals have experienced weight loss, improvement in diabetes, HIV, psoriasis, depression and more, just because they have someone who cares about them. Some relationships develop into longer-term friendships; other Pals move on to more independent lives.
Family Friends are there to help caregivers and other family members grow into their new role.
We need volunteers, who are asked to donate a minimum of one hour a week. Training is free and includes information on active listening, ways to help and when to know more help is needed.
And of course, we need funding.
To learn more, call Leslie Boyd at 828-243-6712 or e-mail lifeomike@gmail.com.
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