Happy birthday to me
Yesterday was a lovely birthday. I took the afternoon to go up to the spot where we scattered Mike’s ashes and spend a little time telling him about what we’re doing in his memory.
It’s really hard having my birthday to myself after sharing it with him for 33 years and joking about how it was mine and he could have it when I was done with it. It’s what we all expect as parents: to outlive our kids.
I finally sang “Happy birthday to ME,” and built a small cairn next to his blueberry bush.
Fortunately, I have good friends who made sure the end of my day was fun. Annie, Liz and Kathleen met me at Mela for dinner. Fortunately, they put us back in the corner, where we were free to laugh and carry on. There were two wine-glass-toppling accidents, but they were because someone talks with her hands and got a little too excited about something. Twice. Next time, she gets a sippee cup.
I got to thank Anoop Krishnan, the owner, in person for the food he donated to Eat at Mike’s. It was especially nice because Mike loved Mela as much as I do.
And I’m starting to learn to play the mandolin Rob gave me. I got a gig bag, some picks and a chord book. Maybe by next year’s Eat at Mike’s I’ll be able to play a couple songs along with some bluegrass friends (Sons of Ralph, Buncombe Turnpike, Carol Rifkin … I’m thinking of you).
Patient Pals & Family Friends
Life o' Mike has a peer support program for people with one or more serious or chronic medical issues or disabilities.
We aim to reduce isolation and fear among people who have conditions, including psychiatric illness, HIV/AIDS, diabetes, mild dementia or other cognitive disorder or disability, thereby reducing depression and complications as people learn to improve self-management of their medical conditions.
Patient Pals help alleviate feelings of isolation and frustration. They can help people develop a list of questions to ask the doctor and then accompany the person to the doctor to make sure all the questions are answered, taking notes to be sure the person understands the doctor’s answers.
Our trained volunteers also accompany their “Pals” to art exhibits, movies and walks outdoors, meet for coffee, call to check in and more.
Our Pals have experienced weight loss, improvement in diabetes, HIV, psoriasis, depression and more, just because they have someone who cares about them. Some relationships develop into longer-term friendships; other Pals move on to more independent lives.
Family Friends are there to help caregivers and other family members grow into their new role.
We need volunteers, who are asked to donate a minimum of one hour a week. Training is free and includes information on active listening, ways to help and when to know more help is needed.
And of course, we need funding.
To learn more, call Leslie Boyd at 828-243-6712 or e-mail lifeomike@gmail.com.
November 4, 2009 holds 2 occasions for me. My Mom and son’s birthdays. While he is here, it is difficult for him to celebrate because my Mom (his Grandmother)passed away this past July. She had Medicare which helped with some of her care, but my son has no insurance because the rates are so high. He has health issues but says he cannot go to the doctor or ER when he is sick because of the expense. There must be something we can do so that individuals will have a chance at a full, healthy life. I hope my son can someday not fear going to to the doctor for lack of insurance or care.