Anniversary syndrome

It was two years ago today that I got the news Mike’s cancer was back. The doctors had hoped to give him another year, but the cancer didn’t respond to chemo and he died six weeks later, on April 1.

I got the call on my way into work, and Rob and I dropped everything and went out to Cary, about a four-hour drive, to be with him. He was tired and stunned, and for several days, he didn’t laugh or crack jokes.

But even that came back to him after a week, and he was playing the “I’m dying” card. We all went along with Mike being Mike, except for chemo days, which reminded us how short his time would be. After two treatments — four weeks after we discovered the cancer was back — we found the chemo wasn’t working and I brought him home to be with me.

I wanted every moment with him. I wanted him to live as long as we could nurture him along. I knew he was dying, but each day he survived, I thanked God for one more day with him.

My passion to fix this broken health care system is renewed every time I look at his picture. I can almost hear him urging me on.

And then to almost lose my husband to the system last week … I’m even more determined.

I’m not watching the health care summit today because it’ just a dog-and-pony show. What we need is for the Senate to pass the public option through reconciliation. Republicans used it 22 times during the Bush administration, including for two tax cuts and Medicate Part D, which will cost $1 trillion by the end of its first decade.

The Congressional Budget Office has said the public option will cut costs over the next 10 years. It will pay for itself. C’mon, kids, let’s put on this show!

Help Life o’ Mike

We need your help now more than ever. Your tax-deductible donation will help us Patient Pals and Family Friends to more people in need of peer support. Please consider a gift in honor or in memory of a loved one. Donate here or mail your donation to Life o' Mike, PO Box 1213, Asheville, NC 28802.

Patient Pals & Family Friends

Life o' Mike has a peer support program for people with one or more serious or chronic medical issues or disabilities.

We aim to reduce isolation and fear among people who have conditions, including psychiatric illness, HIV/AIDS, diabetes, mild dementia or other cognitive disorder or disability, thereby reducing depression and complications as people learn to improve self-management of their medical conditions.

Patient Pals help alleviate feelings of isolation and frustration. They can help people develop a list of questions to ask the doctor and then accompany the person to the doctor to make sure all the questions are answered, taking notes to be sure the person understands the doctor’s answers.

Our trained volunteers also accompany their “Pals” to art exhibits, movies and walks outdoors, meet for coffee, call to check in and more.

Our Pals have experienced weight loss, improvement in diabetes, HIV, psoriasis, depression and more, just because they have someone who cares about them. Some relationships develop into longer-term friendships; other Pals move on to more independent lives.

Family Friends are there to help caregivers and other family members grow into their new role.

We need volunteers, who are asked to donate a minimum of one hour a week. Training is free and includes information on active listening, ways to help and when to know more help is needed.

And of course, we need funding.

To learn more, call Leslie Boyd at 828-243-6712 or e-mail lifeomike@gmail.com.

Start From Seed

Life o' Mike has a new program- Start from Seed (SFS).
SFS is a volunteer doula program aimed at providing non-medical, comprehensive support to low income, high-risk women and families of Buncombe County focusing on three areas:

1. We help new doulas with certification and training in return for their participation as a volunteer doula for SFS

2. We mentor volunteer doulas with their first few clients

3. Our volunteer doulas provide birth and postpartum doula services to low income, high risk moms, providing support and tools to empower them as a new parent.

A birth doula is a trained and experienced professional who provides continuous physical, emotional and informational support to the mother before, during and just after birth; a postpartum doula provides emotional and practical support during the postpartum period.

Start from Seed clients are referred to us from the Buncombe County Department of Health’s Nurse-Family Partnership Program, Western North Carolina Community Health Services, and Mission Hospital. The Program is intended and designed for growing clients’ inner strength and helping them gain empowerment to help them cope with the emotional, physical and mental challenges of childbirth, labor, and motherhood.

To learn more, visit www.startfromseed.org, or call Program Director Chelsea Kouns at 804-814-9946.

Events in the community

Free birth and labor classes

Peaceful Beginning Doula Services holds free birth forums, Peaceful Birth, 6:30-8 p.m. the last Thursday of every month (except November) at Spa Materna, 640 Merrimon Ave., above The Hop, in Asheville.
All are welcome, expectant women and their partners are encouraged to attend anytime during their pregnancy. We also encourage doulas and other maternal/child professionals to attend and share in the discussions. The forums are "birth circle" style, focusing on normal birth which follows the Lamaze Six Care Practices for Healthy Birth. The forums are led by certified and experienced educators.

NAMI Family-to-Family Class

NAMI of Western Carolina holds 12-week classes for families and caregivers of individuals with a severe mental illness 6-8:30 p.m. Mondays at Charles George VA Medical Center, 1100 Tunnel Road in Asheville. The course covers major mental illnesses and self-care. Registration required. Info at 828-299-9596 or rohaus@charter.net.

Contact your representatives

Ask them what they're doing to fix health care!