Only a parent who has lost a child can know the full depth of your grief right now. It’s overwhelming, and it will be that way for awhile.
Our children are supposed to outlive us, and there is no comfort when they don’t.
I’m fortunate in that I got to say goodbye to my son, but that moment when he died is burned into my heart, just as the moment you got the call about your daughter is burned in yours. You will relive that moment again and again in the coming weeks and months, even years.
At first, it will be constant, but then the pain will ease a little. You will be able to function, but the moment will come back to you like a tsunami, knocking you off your feet emotionally.
Those moments will reduce in frequency, but I don’t know if they ever go away.
It has been four years since my son died. It is one of those defining moments in your life. There’s before and there’s after, and you will never be the same person you were before.
That’s not to say your life won’t be good again. My son’s death led me to become a full-time health care advocate and educator. I love what I do now because I know that Mike’s spirit is with me.
I believe you will find something positive to do in Diamond’s memory because I don’t see you as someone who will allow himself to be immobilized by this forever.
It’s OK to be immobilized by your grief for awhile because something unthinkable has happened to you.
But keep in mind that her spirit lives on in you and in her siblings and her mother.
She was here, she was loved and she loved you. Her life brought joy. These things can never be taken from you.
Let the people who love you be close and offer comfort. It will help you get through these first horrible days and weeks.
And remember, if other people seem to tire of your grief, I am here. I understand. You can call me anytime.